3am
I make a coffee
since sleeping isn’t working
I try to choose
a different bean from this one
that grounds me
in these ideas
that keep me awake.
I roll a cigarette
I look at my hands
and imagine what other things
they could be doing.
there are so many options
that I choose to do
none.
it seems to be
the only way
to control something.
I resign myself to nothing
for the sheer power
of being everything
and I watch
my sensations
playing
with ephemerality.
